Temporary Feelings.

Have you ever developed an interest to get closer and learn more about a particular individual? Well, I did. A couple of times in my life. It’s seldom out of ‘crush’ thingy or anything along that line, it’s merely about curiosity. I am a very curious person. When some things/persons sparked my curiosity, I tend to follow it until the very end. I think it’s a good thing to be curious because you get to learn more about things but an advice to fellow curious peoples: don’t get too hooked up on it. You might kill a lot of precious time over some insignificant matters just to satisfy your curiosity, like I always did. Not good!

For being a curious-as-a-cat person, I started to develop my observation skills. To be honest, I don’t really take time to observe people around me unless I already set my eyes on them (out of curiosity). That’s why I’m the last person you should ever ask for opinions on your weight-gain or 1-inch shorter haircut. I won’t notice all that unless you point it out, I’m so sorry 😝

Just to clarify, I’m not that creepy, Nosy Parker kinda person while in the process of satisfying my curiosity. I only observe what has been placed in my sight. For example, I like this one person in my class because I think he’s cool and stuff even though he doesn’t seem like it. How do I know he’s actually cool and stuff? Because I observed him during our classes together. I like the way he responds to people, I love how kind and genuine his expressions were, and I actually engaged with him into conversations and found out about our mutual likes. I seldom go to the extent of stalking a person on social medias unless I’ve developed a stronger emotion for this person. Okay that is kinda creepy but who doesn’t do that nowadays, right?

Talking about this particular person… Well, we have a lot of interesting things in common, especially this one thing. But I will not be talking about it here because it would be too obvious. And because I liked everything that I saw during my observations about him, I found myself to kinda ✨spark✨ some kind of feelings for this person. I don’t want to feed the emotions but it seems to be growing fonder and fonder each day. It became cumbersome to me. I hate to admit that having this kind of feeling for someone that you can see on regular basis is quite exhilarating but it makes me nervous as well. Believe it or not I have tried my very best to look calm and collected every time I’m around this person so that no one will notice what’s going on ‘behind the scene’. It was exhausting yet I found fun in the process. “What are your expectations about this?” you ask? Well, I don’t expect for the feelings to be mutual on both sides because let’s face it, people nowadays are too concerned about what they can see with their eyes. I don’t have what it takes to be a ‘pretty girl’ (not now, soon maybe) judging on physical appearance but not that I care about it. When it comes to love, I want it to be everlasting. And it is supposed to be pure and unaffected by any factors. And it’s even better when it caught me off-guard. I don’t want to expect more out of this because this is just a ‘filler arc’ in my story and filler arcs aren’t supposed to take the most spaces in the storyboard.

To be honest I really enjoyed what I am going through right now, but I don’t think it would be a long ride. I am looking forward to that day when I will be able to be around that person without forcing my brain all-out to act like a normal person. And when that time comes, I know a filler arc in my life has ended. If I ever gathered enough courage maybe then I’ll let the person know that I always liked him before we part ways during our final semester together.

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P/S: I am proud to tell everyone that I have finished watching and reading One Piece anime and manga in 5 months period and now I am waiting for new chapters and episodes like any other people! Here’s one of my favourite scene in One Piece and I might write a post about the best story ever (One Piece, lol) in the future!

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